The cast
N: Narrator.
KD: King David
B: Bathsheba
J: Joab
U: Uriah
Let the play begin.
N: I am the narrator.
KD: I am King David.
B: I am Bathsheba.
J: I am Joab.
U: I am Uriah.
All: And this is our story.
N: It was spring time and because of this David sent his army to war, because that’s what kings did in the spring time!
A: If I see Egypt in a (counting on fingers) billion, billion, billion
billion years it would be a billion, billion, billion (stops and thinks) billion years too soon.
A: Its great isn’t it.
B: Sure is, so why have we stopped?
A: (looks) Oh there’s some sea in the way.
B: That’s no reason to stop.
A: What, you think we should just walk straight through it.
B: Yeah.
A: The words crazy and your spring to mind. How are your kids?
B: Hungry, Tired, at least they’ve got their winter coats on.
A: And the children.
B: The same, except they refused to put their coats on, mind you they don’t have any coats were poor slaves.
A: Where slaves. Can you hear that? (sound of army approaching on CD).
B: What (looking around).
A: I don’t believe it, it’s the Egyptians..
B: They’re coming to get us.
A: It’s an entire army, they’ve got war chariots and everything, theirs hundreds of them.
B: We’ve got no chance.
A: Hay Mo (shouting to Moses at the front of the group) Mo it’s the Egyptians (puts hands to ears so he can hear better what Moses says).
B: (To himself) What are we going to do? (to A, starting to panic) Well what did he say?
A: Don’t Panic.
B: Mo, said don’t Panic.
A: No – I’m telling you not to panic, Moses said –
Narrator:  Don’t Be Afraid the Lord will rescue us.
B: How did you say that without your lips moving.
A: never mind that, the lord will rescue us.
B: Why didn’t he just leave us in Egypt it would have been better to be slaves in Egypt than to die in the wilderness – what are we going to do?
A: you’re panicking, who said we’re going to die.
B: I did, look we have got an army behind us after us and in front of us a sea a huge rough fierce sea full of …of…of…water – we’re going to die, did Mo say anything else?
A: Not much else, although he did mention crossing the sea.
B: That’s alright then…(Suddenly realises) We’re going to cross the sea!! What that sea.
A: I think he was thinking of the other sea over…yes of course that sea.
B: How, I can’t swim to save my life.
A: I don’t know we’ve just got to trust that it’s all going to work out.
B: Trust.
A: Have faith, look how far we’ve come.
B: Have you heard how fierce that sea is? (Both listen to sea sound effect on CD).
A: It’s quite…
A&B: Fierce (they exit).
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A is waiting for B to arrive. A paces up and down looking at watch.
Then B turns up wearing a red cardboard outfit covering most of his body, this is
Hindering his walking somewhat
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The Scene: <P>
Two chairs are set stage right. Two people walk up on stage and stand stage left, next Dave & Paul enter both with newspapers and sit on chairs, Paul sitting closest to the other two people standing on stage, both start to read newspapers, then they become aware that there are two people standing around on the other side of the stage.
Rebellion in the Ranks
A group of soldiers stand around talking when the captain comes in.
Captain: Company attention.
group just carry on talking.
Captain: I said company attention.
still no response.
Captain: Company attention……..please.
all turn at look at the captain.
Soldier1: Er excuse me, but who are you to go around giving orders?
Paul & John walk in together John is holding a balloon.
John: Look I’ll try and explain…(gives Paul the balloon) Ok take this Balloon.
Paul: Ok.
John: Now look this might possibly sound crazy but it will help to explain, imagine that this balloon is the spirit.
Paul: this…(holding balloon up)…is the spirit - Your right.
John: What.
Paul: This is crazy. 5 minutes ago I didn’t know there was a spirit and now, it looks like this!
John: Look just try ok.
Paul: Ok (takes pen out of pocket and draws a happy face on the balloon).
John: What are you doing?
Paul: I’m trying! I can’t help it if the Spirts happy.
John: Never mind, now can you walk up and down.
Paul: In front of all these people. Can I do it with a cardboard box on my head too?
John: Do you want me to explain or not – please (pointing down isle).
(Paul walks up and down the isle).
Paul:Ok your walking with the spirit the more you do this the more the fruit will grow.Â
Now look I’m not the sharpest tool in the violin case but this is just silly.
John: Your remember it this way.
Paul: Are you trying to tell me that if I walk up and down this isle here with a balloon in my hand, pears will blossom in the Garden.
John: No, it’s not that kind of fruit.
Paul: Apples.
John: No.
Paul: Bananas,
John: No.
Paul: Melons.
John: No.
Paul: Strawberries.
John: No.
Paul: I love strawberries.
John: No.
Paul: I owe you ten quid.
John: No… (realises) bother. It’s Spiritual Fruit.
Paul: Strawberries that have feelings… I don’t want to have to argue with a strawberry before I eat it!
John: The fruit of God.
Paul: I didn’t know he’d taken up agriculture.
John: Try Love.
Paul: Ok.
John: Joy.
Paul: Right.
John: Peace.
Paul: Yes.
John: You owe me 10 quid.
Paul: Yes (realising) Bother. So love, joy & peace are the spirits fruit.
John: Yes they are the first three. They grow when walking with the spirit. Look what happens if you give this balloon to someone – people love balloons (gives the balloon to someone in the congregation).
Paul: (upset) Hang on that’s the spirit you’re giving away.
John: The spirit is not limited to one balloon – get more balloons (gives him three more balloons) The spirit is growing the more you live
making someone happy by giving them a balloon, makes you feel good inside doesn’t it!
Paul: Well its alright now I know the spirit isn’t just one balloon.
John: Is this making any sense?
Paul: Well…not fully.
John: Ok forget the balloons (gives balloons away to people in congregation).
Paul: What are you doing? You can’t forget the spirit!
John: Will you quit getting so attached to balloons, (picking up cardboard box) put this box on your head (gives John the box).
Paul: Suits me Fine! (puts box on his head, upset that the balloons have been given away).
John: Let me think, how can I describe the spirit in a different way?
(Paces up and down a little thinking).
Look…
Paul: I can’t I’ve got a box on my head!
John: (Takes box off of John’s head) Right try this – imagine that I am the spirit.
Paul: You’re the spirt! I preferred the balloon idea. Can I have my box back please?
John: Just hear me out, ok
Paul: Ok (gets pen out to draw on John’s face like he did on the balloon).
John: Put it away! Think of the spirit as another person.
Paul: We’re mates.
John: Yeah, think of the spirit as a friend.
Paul: Walking along with a mate.
John: The more you walk the more you get to know each other (they start walking)
Paul: The more your walk together.
John: Your help each other through the bad times.
(Continuing walking to exit).
become more like each other.
Paul: Right
John: But a million times better.
Paul: For a start the spirit would have a much better sense of humour.
John: Thanks!
Paul: Ok, I think I’ve kind of got it. Just one question, how do you get it?
John: What.
Paul: The spirit, do Argos do a good deal?
(They exit)
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The scene: <P>
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AÂ girl sits at a table writing a letter to an agony aunt reading out what she is thinking before writing it. <P>
The Script: <P>
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